The Best Fanfiction Ever

[Hauskaz]

what do you guys thinK?

it was a dark morning that morning, and alucard was staring at the mirror. he had been sobbing through the entire night, lamenting upon the death of his moms uncle. his mom's uncle was a great man, he had introduced alucard to the wonders of the prostate gland, the greratest gland. as the sun rose he got a phonecall. "alucard? it's cloud.... i have to talk to you..." "yes what is it cloud? can you make it for lunch today?"

"yeah..about that... you see i've been thinking... maybe our relationship isn't working out, there's this thing...and barret...i just don't know anymore"

alucard than began to cry :cry: he reached into his dresser and pulled out a kniofe. "knife! your my only friend" he said "NOW I SHALL RELEASE MY ANGUISH THROUGH CRIMSON STREAMS OF SORROW"

he smashed the phone into his mirror, spraying crystal shards of glass across the room, creating a surreal anime-like twinkle effect only achieved by such an action. his homosexually-furnaced room was now oh god what the hell my msn crashed wait guys

k now where was i oh yeah alucard was smashing his phone and stuff then he plunged the knife into his radial artery. andrew came in and noticed the fucked up body.

"ALUCARF NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!YOUR ARMS ARE MY CASTLE, YOUR HEART IS MY SKY

i can't let you go, i want you in my life. my love for you is as deep as the mariana trench."

at that point, andrew, being the amazing man he was, masticated and came all over his beaten body. he then proceeded to defenistrate the knife.

the next day all was well until alucard looked out the window to see the world trade cenetr attacked by jews and athiests and liberals and athietses. "oh my god what the hell is going on" he said and then he went to the building and tried to save trhe people but then the true JFK assassin, jewish comedian jerry seinfeld, shot a bullet through alucards RADIAL ARTERY, the same one which had been severed early that week, then he collapsesed from blood losing. the lossed blood pooled into a blood-red pool of blood that stained the pavement a crimson colour of blood

the end...

[Hauskaz]

ok guys i wrote another chatper for my fanfic


"YOUR WORDS, SPOKEN IN GUISE OF AN OATH - THE PROMISE OF NEVER!

you promised me, tifa, YOU PROMISED!"

cloud's sullied corpse lay strewn across the field, he had ingested a stick of dynamite

tifa then began to cry crystalline tears of sorrow upon cloud's ravaged body, then something incredible happened

michey mouse appeared. he approached the alcohol-soaked bitch and slapped her fine ass.then alucards body was summoned from clouds broken body and attacked the foul mickey mouse."WITH THE SPIRIT OF CLOUD I DEMAND YOU STOP THIS TRAVESTY YUPON THE FEMALE RACE!"

mickey retreated to the secret land of worklords, where workers were lord of the land, and he and his animated brethren would plan their next strike. "he should strike north korea from the west coast, and push out way east towards pyongyang" said goofy, but goofy was a faggot and no one cared.

back in the field.............

in the throws of tragedy and passionm alucard thrust himself unto tifa sweet womanlyhood. "YES! TAKE MY SWEET CHERRY ALUCLOUD" however, the sensation of being phyiscally united as one proved to be too much for alucloud, as he secreted his manly fluids upon her stomach in a mere 30 seconds. "it's oaky, alucloud, it was my first time too and i understand" "shit, lets try again"

8 penetrations later, alucloud was physically, mentally and sexually exapserated. "lets go back to your apartment, alucard...or should i say alucloud" she gigled with pleasure and joy as they walked down the new york streets to aluclouds studio apartment. alucoard flicked on the mood lighting, and broke out his greatest hits from the 80s. he collaspesd upon his heat shaped rotobed and was ready to go for another round THEN OUT OF THE NOTHINGNESS EMERGED FUCKIUNG MICKEYT MOUSE JESUS CHRIST WHAT THE HELL IS THIS SHIT

Micket was pissed as a raging goat and wanted revenge for all the years of agonizing suffering in technicolor with synconized sound. he pulled out his mystic broom stickj and summoned more broom sticks. they all proceeded to penetrate each and every orifice on tofas body. "HOW DO YOU LIEK THAT ALUCLOUD? HOW DO YOU LIKE ME NOW?"

"alucloud and mickey then began their biggest huge b attlke in historey...."


TO BE CONTINUED[/size]

[Finn]

mickey retreated to the secret land of worklords, where workers were lord of the land, and he and his animated brethren would plan their next strike. "he should strike north korea from the west coast, and push out way east towards pyongyang"

lmfao nice pun, never noticed that

[Hauskaz]

I don't get it.

[Finn]

workers preparing for their next strike

[Hauskaz]

... lmfao

Genius.

[Hauskaz]

Man, we should write something this amazing again.

[Duvet]

Imagine turning this into an animation.

[hellomeow]

Wait, what the fuck you guys wrote this?

[Daryl]

I helped.

[Hauskaz]

No you did not.

[Duvet]

Jul 28, 2008 15:54:26 GMT -5 @hellomeow said:

Wait, what the fuck you guys wrote this?

tasogare2raito.informe.com/hey-guys-i-wrote-a-fanfic-dt387.html

[hellomeow]

I'm still confused, did this andrew person write any of the story?

[Hauskaz]

andrew is a collaborate trolling effort.

[Finn]