Episode VII: The Manchildren Awaken

[Cheesemaster VI]

[Kirkwood Chocolate]

time to become that guy who runs around screaming "KYLO KILLS HIS FATHER, HAN". i don't even know if it's true but the disappoint on people's faces would be nice

[Cheesemaster VI]

If I knew anything about the new movie and planned to actually see it, I would probably make up a fake spoiler to piss people off with.

[Kirkwood Chocolate]

yeah.... i could totally do that but i won't really.

i'd rather just watch the film and clap excitedly like everyone else.

so much shit you could make up

"SNOKE IS JAR JAR"

"KYLO IS LUKE"

"LUKE HAS BEEN DEAD SINCE THE BATTLE OF ENDOR"

"KYLO IS LUKE AND LEIA'S SECRET LOVECHILD"

"FINN IS HAN AND LEIA'S BULL"

"ANAKIN CAME BACK FROM THE DEAD AS SNOKE"

i mean now it's pointless when everyone's already going to have been tweeting about it since the premiere in LA tomm night, but the humour is still there.

[Kirkwood Chocolate]

actually now it's confirmed, the biggest spoiler is Han Solo gets killed by his son, Kylo Ren aka Ben Solo.

you've got like two solid nights to spoil people on this movie, maybe through the opening weekend. By this time next week, almost everyone in americas and europe will know Kylo killed Han.

you can't go on any board on 4chan without seeing Han getting stabbed to death

[Cheesemaster VI]

lol

[Kirkwood Chocolate]

nice it already shattered the domestic and worldwide weekend box office record... and the weekend isn't even done yet lol

www.hollywoodreporter.com/news/box-office-star-wars-force-850340

so glad this movie has interracial romance, that was what I cared about the most besides the movie not being terrible. for my third time I'm taking a white girl to see it with me now that I've seen it with enough NERDS and MANCHILDREN to satisfy my need to discuss canonical consistencies and plot direction and whatnot. one thing i really liked about seeing it in theaters was how there was literally everyone in the audience. old people, little kids, manchildren and nerds, married couples, teenagers, groups of hot young women in skimpy star wars clothing, even a few couples fully dressed in cosplay. very fun moviegoing experience, possibly the best i've ever had. a lot of applause and audible gasps and outbursts of laughter in a fully packed theater.

the fanart has already fired up.









thankfully the cast is strongly supportive of all the shipping



i like how the newly joined tumblr sub-sect of the fandom has already clearly taken a liking to the bisexual angle













honestly i'm just so happy this franchise is back on its feet again

















this was what the concession lineup actually looked like













can't wait for episode viii. i sincerely hope john boyega impregnates daisy ridley.

[Kirkwood Chocolate]

i like how basically everyone seems to think Poe is gay







and of course all the homo Kylo/Hux stuff









why is he such a lovable loser?











the look on his face just kills me every time



2015 has been a real good year. can't wait to see how this franchise moves forward

[Cheesemaster VI]

Dec 29, 2015 10:02:25 GMT -5 Kirkwood Chocolate said:

A+

[Kirkwood Chocolate]

You'll hear a lot of nerds come in here and defend Rey's slutty past on Jakku. They'll tell you “she had to do it" for food, water. resources, protection...
The truth, and this will be revealed in the next two films, is that Rey NEEDS cock. All sorts of cock: Ithorian cock, human cock, Zabrak cock. droid cock. prehensile Hutt cock. cock of all kinds. Rey needs them in her pussy and in her pink little asshole because she's depraved.
In her training with Luke on the magical island, we're going to hear all about what she did on Jakku. Glory holes, aliens runnin‘ trains on her by midnight fireside. Jawas probing her ass with metal instruments, even luggabeasts bustin' fat gallon-sized nuts on her pert little body.
She is a whore. Light side, dark side... Who cares? She's on the cock side. And that's why I love her.