### Post by on May 17, 2008 1:55:12 GMT -5

I think this is the most appropriate place to put this, correct me if I am wrong. These jokes do not need to be funny, they just have to be corny, and math, science, computer science or perhaps even literature or history related. A few examples.

(Compliments to Daryl for this one)

(Compliments to Ms. Kim for this one)

(Compliments to Mr. Lempka)

(Compliments to jackie31337)

(This one I need to learn enough calculus to understand, word up to jackie31337)

Also, word up to Tom Lehrer

The Element Song

They'll Be Some Changes Made, There's a Delta for Every Epsilon, King Gamma's Song

New Math

That's Mathematics

Oedipus Rex

Silent E

What did the 2 say to the i?

GET REAL!

GET REAL!

(Compliments to Daryl for this one)

Why do mathematicians get Halloween and Christmas mixed up?

Because Oct 31 = Dec 25

Because Oct 31 = Dec 25

(Compliments to Ms. Kim for this one)

How do you fit 9 horses equally into 10 stables?

[n]

[n]

*[n][e][h][o][r]*~~[e]~~(Compliments to Mr. Lempka)

Two cats are on top of a house while it is raining, which one fell off of the roof first?

The cat with the lesser μ

The cat with the lesser μ

(Compliments to jackie31337)

Why would I want to be your derivative?

So I could always be close to your curves

So I could always be close to your curves

I wish I were your second derivative, so I could examine your concavities!

What did one atom say to the other?

I'm positive a free electron stole my valence after he lepton me, you have to keep your ion them!

I'm positive a free electron stole my valence after he lepton me, you have to keep your ion them!

(This one I need to learn enough calculus to understand, word up to jackie31337)

What is the integral of 1/cabin*d(cabin)?

log cabin!

log cabin!

What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?

A ferrous wheel

A ferrous wheel

What do you get when you divide the circumference of a pumpkin by its diameter?

Pumpkin π!

Pumpkin π!

One hydrogen atom said to the other, "I've lost an electron."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, I'm positive!"

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, I'm positive!"

What did the thermometer say to the graduated cylinder?

You may have graduated, but I've got many degrees!

You may have graduated, but I've got many degrees!

If only you and dead people can read hexadecimal, how many people can read hexadecimal?

57006

57006

A neutron walks into a bar and orders a beer, and then asks the bartender how much the beer costs; the bartender replies, "For you, my friend, no charge."

What do you do when you find a dead chemist?

Barium.

Barium.

<Enki-2> beware of quantum ducts. the quarking things boson between the quarks

<Enki-2> beware of quantum ducks

<Enki-2> QUARK

<Enki-2> QUARK

<Enki-2> beware of quantum ducks

<Enki-2> QUARK

<Enki-2> QUARK

My Brother was a chemist

But he isn't anymore.

For what he thought was H2O

Was H2SO4!

But he isn't anymore.

For what he thought was H2O

Was H2SO4!

"An engineer, a physicist and a mathematician were all staying in a hotel, when each of their rooms individually caught fire. The engineer did some basic math, flooded the floor and said, "it is out." The physicist did more complicated math, used just precisely the amount of water needed to put out the fire and said, "It is out." the mathematician did a lot of complicated math, said, 'I HAVE SOLVED IT!' and went back to bed."

One day e^x was strolling down the street, when he saw a constant function running in the opposite direction in fear. e^x stopped the function to ask what was wrong, to which the constant replied, "A differential operator is differentiating everyone! If he gets me, I'll be reduced to nothing! " e^x retorted, "Ha! I have nothing to fear, I'm e^x! He can differentiate me all he wants, and I'll always come out the same! ", and continued to stroll on.

Predictably, e^x ran into the differential operator soon afterwards.

"Hi!" e^x said "I'm e^x! "

"Hi! " replied the operator.

"I'm d/dy! "

Predictably, e^x ran into the differential operator soon afterwards.

"Hi!" e^x said "I'm e^x! "

"Hi! " replied the operator.

"I'm d/dy! "

An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar. The first one orders a beer. The second orders half a beer. The third, a quarter of a beer. The bartender says "You're all idiots," and pours two beers.

What does a mermaid mathematician wear?

An Algae-Bra!

An Algae-Bra!

Why weren't sin and tan invited to the Trig party?

Just 'cos.

Just 'cos.

1510

What will dissolve faster in water, a brown bear or a white bear?

The white bear, because it's polar.

The white bear, because it's polar.

Also, word up to Tom Lehrer

The Element Song

They'll Be Some Changes Made, There's a Delta for Every Epsilon, King Gamma's Song

New Math

That's Mathematics

Oedipus Rex

Silent E