Post by Mr Momentum & the Sidesteppers on Apr 26, 2014 10:46:10 GMT -5
Am I the only one who's always imagined Batman as being really, really, REALLY gay? Not in some kind of homophobic way, just in the sense that he's probably a very deeply closeted homosexual man externalizing his shame in his sexual orientation by fighting crime? I've never been able to imagine Batman in any other way, his character is too unbelievable unless he's gay. As if he always harbored a deep admiration for men since a young boy, but because of the incident with his parents, he slowly became obsessed with this concept of justice. He represses his homosexual desires in an attempt to become the heir of the Wayne fortune and a celebrity, but deep inside, he's obsessed with penises.
It's why he wears a tight suit with a cape and seems to love sleeping with robin in an underground cave (where NO ONE of course, will hear their rough lovemaking sessions). I'm sure his obsession with fighting crime is just an externalization of his need to rough and tumble with other men, even moreso because he does it in a spandex suit. Maybe he's never killed anyone, but that's probably because he just enjoyed giving a rough assfucking to some tall, built thug while rambling incoherently about justice and moral pride while his cock penetrates deep into another man's ass and he enjoys the grunts and whimpers of a man whose masculinity is slowly crumbling under the steady, constant rhythmic pressure of Bruce Wayne's penis.
This is why he invites women over to entertain them, he has to keep appearances up. But in reality, what he REALLY can't wait for is to get into bed with his tights and mask on, slide his hands down his batbriefs and give Superman a phone call while he touches himself and starts questioning him in the Batvoice.
"SUPERMAN! Where are you right now?"
"I'm kinda busy right now Bruce, is there a criminal or a villain we have to fight?"
"No, I just, need to know what you're wearing right now..." *fap fap* "You're wearing that spandex under your suit right now, aren't you? Tell me you're wearing those tight red briefs again.."
"Uh, Bruce look. You need to stop calling me like this. I'm having dinner with Lois right now."
"You BASTARD! You always have time for me when it's all about the crime fighting, but as soon as there's time off you just have to waste all your time with HER."
"Look Bruce.. I really don't have time for this right now. I'm gonna hang up now."
"SUPERMAN WAIT, I JUST WANT TO TALK!"
"Goodbye Bruce" *click*
and of course Batman proceeds to fap himself silly imagining Superman's pecs and using his own tears as lubricant.
Honestly his whole rivalry with the Joker and other villains just don't make sense if he's not gay. A NORMAL hetero billionaire would just waste his time philandering with women and getting hammered in between running the company, instead Batman just has to get into a suit and grapple with thugs.
What a faggot.
It's why he wears a tight suit with a cape and seems to love sleeping with robin in an underground cave (where NO ONE of course, will hear their rough lovemaking sessions). I'm sure his obsession with fighting crime is just an externalization of his need to rough and tumble with other men, even moreso because he does it in a spandex suit. Maybe he's never killed anyone, but that's probably because he just enjoyed giving a rough assfucking to some tall, built thug while rambling incoherently about justice and moral pride while his cock penetrates deep into another man's ass and he enjoys the grunts and whimpers of a man whose masculinity is slowly crumbling under the steady, constant rhythmic pressure of Bruce Wayne's penis.
This is why he invites women over to entertain them, he has to keep appearances up. But in reality, what he REALLY can't wait for is to get into bed with his tights and mask on, slide his hands down his batbriefs and give Superman a phone call while he touches himself and starts questioning him in the Batvoice.
"SUPERMAN! Where are you right now?"
"I'm kinda busy right now Bruce, is there a criminal or a villain we have to fight?"
"No, I just, need to know what you're wearing right now..." *fap fap* "You're wearing that spandex under your suit right now, aren't you? Tell me you're wearing those tight red briefs again.."
"Uh, Bruce look. You need to stop calling me like this. I'm having dinner with Lois right now."
"You BASTARD! You always have time for me when it's all about the crime fighting, but as soon as there's time off you just have to waste all your time with HER."
"Look Bruce.. I really don't have time for this right now. I'm gonna hang up now."
"SUPERMAN WAIT, I JUST WANT TO TALK!"
"Goodbye Bruce" *click*
and of course Batman proceeds to fap himself silly imagining Superman's pecs and using his own tears as lubricant.
Honestly his whole rivalry with the Joker and other villains just don't make sense if he's not gay. A NORMAL hetero billionaire would just waste his time philandering with women and getting hammered in between running the company, instead Batman just has to get into a suit and grapple with thugs.
What a faggot.
