Post by Mr Momentum & the Sidesteppers on Oct 9, 2019 4:28:39 GMT -5
Official thread theme: www.youtube.com/watch?v=uB1D9wWxd2w
My fellow Gamer Americans, it's time for us to rise the fuck up. And I mean rise the fuck up, for the greatest of all video games God has ever blessed this planet with. Niggas be looking at their GotY 2019 candidates like, "Death Stranding? Gears 5? Pokeymans? MK11? DMC5? Sekiro?" And to y'all I say, nah nigga, fuck GotY, I got your GOATey right HERE.
Ladies and gentlemen, allow me to present the one and only thing that China has to be proud of:
This is unironically the greatest mobile game I've ever played in my life. I can hardly believe this is free. I've spent hundreds of dollars on games this year alone, and all I want to do is run that CoD Mobile. Smooth controls, simple graphics, really nails that 2005 Counter Strike Source feel with the addition of CoD scorestreak mechanics. And the most amazing thing about it is, you can play it on PC, against mobile players. And good god, does this game on PC make my penis feel long, thick and fat.
This game has taught me some very important life lessons. For example, there IS in fact, an 'I' in 'TEAM', and it's spelled 'ME', bitch.
I'm not even going to lie to you guys, I'm mediocre as all fuck at most fps games. Kuldeep and anyone else mildly versed at fps games on PC could most likely whip my ass sideways while blindfolded. But that's the magic of this game on PC. It makes you feel like Michael Jordan in his prime dunking on 5'2" manlets on the court. I feel like a fat, middle aged rich white guy in Asia. Yes, my success is guaranteed, but Fuck You goddammit, I'm allowed to savour my victory.
The fact that you can play this game on mobile is pretty amazing as well. The controls work well enough, obviously after playing on PC it feels like your penis literally diminishes in size as you realize that you're now some mediocre scrub trying to aim down sights on your fucking Samsung. This being said, the prospect of playing on the phone really opens up possibilities. Waiting in your car for a while? Run some ranked. Taking a dump? Not gonna lie, the last 5 dumps I took? Playing ranked CoD matches. This shit is so cracklike addictive it probably has fentanyl in the mix.
Honestly speaking, this game is one of the worst inventions ever for human productivity. This game is like heroin entering your bloodstream, and it can be run in such a barebones mode you could probably get it to run on a casio watch. And if by chance you happen to be using a desktop, you can feel like a Big Dick God absolutely smashing these third world scrubs just by having basic spatial awareness and the ability to actually aim with more than just your thumb. Seriously this game might just fuck my life up. Anyways, all of you should get it both on your phones and PC and maybe one day we could run matches. Hideo Kojima, eat your fuckin heart out baby.
My fellow Gamer Americans, it's time for us to rise the fuck up. And I mean rise the fuck up, for the greatest of all video games God has ever blessed this planet with. Niggas be looking at their GotY 2019 candidates like, "Death Stranding? Gears 5? Pokeymans? MK11? DMC5? Sekiro?" And to y'all I say, nah nigga, fuck GotY, I got your GOATey right HERE.
Ladies and gentlemen, allow me to present the one and only thing that China has to be proud of:
This is unironically the greatest mobile game I've ever played in my life. I can hardly believe this is free. I've spent hundreds of dollars on games this year alone, and all I want to do is run that CoD Mobile. Smooth controls, simple graphics, really nails that 2005 Counter Strike Source feel with the addition of CoD scorestreak mechanics. And the most amazing thing about it is, you can play it on PC, against mobile players. And good god, does this game on PC make my penis feel long, thick and fat.
This game has taught me some very important life lessons. For example, there IS in fact, an 'I' in 'TEAM', and it's spelled 'ME', bitch.
I'm not even going to lie to you guys, I'm mediocre as all fuck at most fps games. Kuldeep and anyone else mildly versed at fps games on PC could most likely whip my ass sideways while blindfolded. But that's the magic of this game on PC. It makes you feel like Michael Jordan in his prime dunking on 5'2" manlets on the court. I feel like a fat, middle aged rich white guy in Asia. Yes, my success is guaranteed, but Fuck You goddammit, I'm allowed to savour my victory.
The fact that you can play this game on mobile is pretty amazing as well. The controls work well enough, obviously after playing on PC it feels like your penis literally diminishes in size as you realize that you're now some mediocre scrub trying to aim down sights on your fucking Samsung. This being said, the prospect of playing on the phone really opens up possibilities. Waiting in your car for a while? Run some ranked. Taking a dump? Not gonna lie, the last 5 dumps I took? Playing ranked CoD matches. This shit is so cracklike addictive it probably has fentanyl in the mix.
Honestly speaking, this game is one of the worst inventions ever for human productivity. This game is like heroin entering your bloodstream, and it can be run in such a barebones mode you could probably get it to run on a casio watch. And if by chance you happen to be using a desktop, you can feel like a Big Dick God absolutely smashing these third world scrubs just by having basic spatial awareness and the ability to actually aim with more than just your thumb. Seriously this game might just fuck my life up. Anyways, all of you should get it both on your phones and PC and maybe one day we could run matches. Hideo Kojima, eat your fuckin heart out baby.