Post by Kirkwood Chocolate on Jul 17, 2021 5:12:18 GMT -5
Official Thread Theme: www.youtube.com/watch?v=XbOVvXmYWyI
Alternate Thread Theme: www.youtube.com/watch?v=RlXfOIsrCjo
Holy shit guys I'm so happy it finally happened! Alright alright so I'll fill you guys in real quick but first off
DISCLAIMER: To the RCMP, FBI, CIA, Interpol and all other law enforcement agencies that may or may not be reading this. Absolutely NOTHING posted in this thread is real. None of this is based on events even remotely real. This is a completely fictitious post. No one would ever take random posts on a dead forum like XF seriously. Honestly, just do us all a favour and Ctrl+W the thread right now. Delete your browser history too. Make sure you do that part. Go ahead, do it. And don't you open the tab back up! I mean come on, do the taxpayers really pay you so much you have time to waste on a silly forum post like this? Come on now, go investigate Vietnamese drug traffickers, human traffickers, foreign spies; whatever it is exactly you people do. Keep on doing it! Nothing to see here!
hey, nothing to see here! ctrl+w! delete your browser history! bye!
hey wait wait what are you still doing here
do not pass go, do not collect $200, just get the fuck out of the thread already.
dude i'm fucking serious there's nothing here.
Alright kids, spread your cheeks and prep your neg hole. Zaddy's home 😎
*hits blunt*
*inhales popper*
*stuffs mdma directly up asshole*
You know ever since I was a young boy, I always dreamt of being a dad. Of caring for someone younger, guiding them through life, teaching them the important lessons, and most of all offering them love and compassion. And finally, I've followed in the footsteps of my heroes like Milo Yiannopolis, Kevin Spacey and various ancient greek dignitaries. I've finally become a queer internet dad! And man does it ever feel great to have finally matured enough as a man to seduce teenaged gaymer boys on the internet and convince them to send me nudes and call me daddy. And by teenaged, I of course mean only people who are of legal age, and nothing else. Ever. Totally. At least now I know I could have some wild group sex if I ever decide to fly to Cali! Yeah Yeah Ha Ha "Anybody could have wild group sex in Cali, Michael!" Yeah but I actually play the same fighting games as the people I'm gonna fuck in wild orgies, so miss me with that shit.
First off, let's give praise and thanks to the greatest queer internet dad of all-time: Kevin Spacey!
Ever since I was young, I always admired Kevin Spacey. He's just such a great actor, and ever since he started making Christmas videos I've been his biggest fan. I even thought it was kind of sexy watching him stroke it in the shower during the opening of American Beauty. Is it weird that I like balding older men? Oh who cares! I just love this absolute charmer to death! And clearly, so did anyone accusing him of any sort of crime. One day I'll be a total middle aged zaddy just like you Mr. Spacey! Until keep inspiring me to be better.
Honestly, I never imagined it would turn out like this. I just wanted to be better at Guilty Gear. Before I knew it, I was the oldest guy on discord. And boy, there sure are a whole lot of gay kids on discord these days aren't there?
Thank God for Zaddy Zato. He is literally a beacon for queers to rally around, a symbol of our absolute adoration of male beauty. All my discord venom lookalike boytoys want to get together and have some group orgies with some Zato looking dudes who all have BWCs. Shit will be fuckin cash and we could even put it on xvideos.
I mean I have to admit it, I was kind of groomed myself. After all President Trump was the ultimate poz daddy of them all. I keep trying to tell people that the Trump campaign was fuel entirely by love, but people just don't seem to get it: the entire Trump base has major league daddy issues and we projected ALL OF IT onto Big Papa Don. I mean you guys know I'm a ride or die Trumptard and antivaxxer but man, all that boipussy down south might finally make me hit that Moderna.
Look now you might say to me, Michael what the hell are you doing talking to these young boys on the internet? Aren't you fucking 30 man? To which I say: fuck off homophobe. Nobody asked you for your god damned straight person opinions. Look: I get it. You're boring. You wake up in the morning and say out loud "Today, I will be a boring ass piece of shit." Every goddamn day. Just great baby, you do you. Now if you don't mind, I'm gonna be right over here being a sexy poz daddy on the internet playing video games with my babies who are all better at playing Guilty Gear than I am.
Could I get a bunch of young ass on grindr? Of course I could and I already did. And then I brag about it to my babies on discord. But the truth is, Daddy loves young gamer boys. Pretty boys I could play fighting games with, lose several matches to, and then bend them over and clap them cheeks. You know what, it took a long time but I think I'm gonna bring back the long hair. I'm finally ready to be a full on pansexual zaddy and just straight up assfuck everybody. Look: I'm young, I'm in great shape, I'm pretty, I've got a huge dick, a great ass and goddammit, I deserve to fuck as many pretty people as I want. Literally me in less than a year:
Seriously, straight people need to just stop trying to understand things that are not meant for them. The love between young, blossoming men and experienced older men is a beautiful thing. The love between a young boy and a significantly older man is far deeper and meaningful than the superficial love between men and women. A celebration of the beauty and mentorship between men. Hold on, daddy needs another shot of captain morgan.
Alright listen so here's the deal: women are fucking GAY. Have you ever tried to put up with a woman's bullshit? Personally, I still have two girlfriends but man bitches can be fucking crazy. Sometimes all I want is some big poz daddy to just walk right over, grab me by the face and tongue kiss me, bend me over and pound my ass into the stratosphere. Better than listening to my girlfriend tell another awful story about her boring ass co-workers again. Look, I like pussy as much as the next guy but let's be honest, women are really just good for childbirth and nothing else. And quite frankly, daddy can't afford child support right now, so I'll just stick to my discord babies. I mean if I'm being honest, my discord boyfriend honestly has a much nicer ass than my girlfriend. Way smoother too. My girl doesn't even want to do anal anymore, what the fuck man. Hurts too much my ass!
One of the smartest women to ever live, Ninon de L'enclos fully understood how full of shit women really are.
You know what, FUCK YOU. Go right the fuck ahead. Call the goddamn police. Deploy them. They'll be trapped in here with me, not the other way around.
Seriously does anybody else find cops really sexy. I got pulled over by this hot cop the other day for clearly running through a stop sign. I was high as shit and rushing to work, but that handsome officer just let me off with a warning. I was horribly disappointed when it didn't even have his number on it. I was even clearly trying to hit on him. You win some you lose some I guess. At least I have my discord boyfriends.
I mean jesus christ how funny is it that I'm actually an enormous faggot who works as a steelworker now? Life really is comedy.
wait a minute what the fuck is that sound outside
wait what the
