Post by Mr Momentum & the Sidesteppers on Aug 16, 2021 1:19:20 GMT -5
My fellow Prime subscribers, assemble!
In this thread we give endless praise and adulation to Lord Bezos' Holy Empire of Logistics. Talk about things you've bought on Amazon, shows you've watched [exclusively] on Amazon Prime video, great deals you've found on Amazon and so on.
Personally I think these packages from Amazon be arriving too fast. Like, I literally just ordered this shit a couple hours ago. Why is it already here? Jesus Christ Bezos will you put the whip down for 5 minutes and let your employees take a break or something? I'm just kidding I need my charcoal toothpaste, ethernet cables, pillow cases and canned tuna right fucking now and I pay good money for my Prime subscription, so I better get it ASAP. Back in the cagey, wagie!
I think every month I order at least 10 things from Amazon. Seriously my landlady is just tired of telling me there are packages, and honestly she doesn't have to. They send photographs of almost every delivery. Here's this one time they actually left a humidifier in my landlady's backyard, complete with a picture from behind my window.
Honestly, there is no megacorporation I would more proudly and relentlessly shill than Amazon. I feel like Jeff Bezos is my real dad. If it weren't for him we would have never gotten the Invincible animated series, the Boys, Too Old To Die Young, literally half the shit or more in my apartment at this point was purchased on Amazon. Hell this keyboard, mouse and monitor I'm using as well as most of Kinoberus' components were all bought on Amazon, usually with coupons or on sale.
Real footage of Lord Bezos literally DESTROYING every single mom and pop shop on the planet and slowly forcing all retail into monopolization between himself and Walmart.
Look I'm not going to mince words: if you don't have a Prime account, you are a lesser human being than I am. It's simply reality. Every time someone tells me they don't use Amazon I just give them this look as if I'm communicating with a mentally retarded person. Seriously, didn't you people support Justin Trudeau? Look at a fucking calendar. It's 2021. Why do you not have a Prime account? Do you hate yourself? Do you hate God? What is actually fucking wrong with you? Maybe you just don't deserve a Prime account. You know what, I'm reporting your ass to customer service just to make sure you DON'T have a Prime account. Fucking inbred.
Literally me calling Amazon customer service any time my package is even a few hours late and immediately demanding a month of free Prime.
Seriously, just start yelling about how much money you pay every year for customer service. You will get your shit either reordered or refunded, and you will also get a free month of Prime and at least a $5 voucher.
Thank you so much for everything Daddy. It is a goddamn PRIVILEGE to pay for my Prime account every year, and unlike my driver's license I do not take that shit for granted. I honest to god do not know how I would function as a human being without Amazon anymore. All my hygienic goods are bought from Amazon, my toilet paper, tissues, Listerine, body wash, coconut oil, creatine, shampoo, golfing gear. I remember the good old days when Amazon was just a means to get Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince on release date first thing in the morning. Even back in the mid 2000s, Lord Bezos-sama was bending the logistical infrastructure to suit his will. I will seriously put on a suit and cape for this company any day of the goddamn week. Seriously, I fucking love Amazon.
In this thread we give endless praise and adulation to Lord Bezos' Holy Empire of Logistics. Talk about things you've bought on Amazon, shows you've watched [exclusively] on Amazon Prime video, great deals you've found on Amazon and so on.
Personally I think these packages from Amazon be arriving too fast. Like, I literally just ordered this shit a couple hours ago. Why is it already here? Jesus Christ Bezos will you put the whip down for 5 minutes and let your employees take a break or something? I'm just kidding I need my charcoal toothpaste, ethernet cables, pillow cases and canned tuna right fucking now and I pay good money for my Prime subscription, so I better get it ASAP. Back in the cagey, wagie!
I think every month I order at least 10 things from Amazon. Seriously my landlady is just tired of telling me there are packages, and honestly she doesn't have to. They send photographs of almost every delivery. Here's this one time they actually left a humidifier in my landlady's backyard, complete with a picture from behind my window.
Honestly, there is no megacorporation I would more proudly and relentlessly shill than Amazon. I feel like Jeff Bezos is my real dad. If it weren't for him we would have never gotten the Invincible animated series, the Boys, Too Old To Die Young, literally half the shit or more in my apartment at this point was purchased on Amazon. Hell this keyboard, mouse and monitor I'm using as well as most of Kinoberus' components were all bought on Amazon, usually with coupons or on sale.
Real footage of Lord Bezos literally DESTROYING every single mom and pop shop on the planet and slowly forcing all retail into monopolization between himself and Walmart.
Look I'm not going to mince words: if you don't have a Prime account, you are a lesser human being than I am. It's simply reality. Every time someone tells me they don't use Amazon I just give them this look as if I'm communicating with a mentally retarded person. Seriously, didn't you people support Justin Trudeau? Look at a fucking calendar. It's 2021. Why do you not have a Prime account? Do you hate yourself? Do you hate God? What is actually fucking wrong with you? Maybe you just don't deserve a Prime account. You know what, I'm reporting your ass to customer service just to make sure you DON'T have a Prime account. Fucking inbred.
Literally me calling Amazon customer service any time my package is even a few hours late and immediately demanding a month of free Prime.
Seriously, just start yelling about how much money you pay every year for customer service. You will get your shit either reordered or refunded, and you will also get a free month of Prime and at least a $5 voucher.
Thank you so much for everything Daddy. It is a goddamn PRIVILEGE to pay for my Prime account every year, and unlike my driver's license I do not take that shit for granted. I honest to god do not know how I would function as a human being without Amazon anymore. All my hygienic goods are bought from Amazon, my toilet paper, tissues, Listerine, body wash, coconut oil, creatine, shampoo, golfing gear. I remember the good old days when Amazon was just a means to get Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince on release date first thing in the morning. Even back in the mid 2000s, Lord Bezos-sama was bending the logistical infrastructure to suit his will. I will seriously put on a suit and cape for this company any day of the goddamn week. Seriously, I fucking love Amazon.
