🦇 The Batman 🦇

[Kirkwood Chocolate]

Official Thread Theme: www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cwcinb2OxUo

A month ago Deemzus swooped in like my personal Dark Knight and actually bought me IMAX tickets to see The Batman tonight. Been saying Deemzus is like Bruce Wayne with the mask off. I was literally asleep and this guy was ready like Johnny on the spot. Honestly? I'm pretty sure Kadeem is even more pumped than I am, and I'm pretty damn pumped. Can't wait to sit down for 3 goddamn hours and take this shit in. Matt Reeves is a grande kinosseure as demonstrated by his incredible Planet of the Apes films, Robert Pattinson is literally kino in living flesh, Zoe Kravitz is sexy as hell, Colin Farrell and Paul Dano are both top notch actors and Dano in particular has me excited to see his Riddler. Top that with an incredible soundtrack by Michael Giacchino and you have all the makings of the best Dark Knight film since, well, The Dark Knight.







IGN was right on the money with their Joker review. I already know I will love the film immensely, it's really just a matter of how it ranks among the pantheon of Batfilms for me.



Honestly I love the chemistry Rob Pattinson and Zoe Kravitz have together. Would not be surprised if these two hooked up. I realized RPatz was a real nigga when he was playing guitar on Death Grips' song "Birds" back in 2013. To see him rise up to be one of the greatest actors of his generation and actually take up the Dark Knight mantle... man this guy has really come far from being Cedric Diggory and constantly shitting all over the Twilight franchise in interviews where he was supposed to be promoting it. Honestly I'd love to meet the guy, seems super cool. He probably got high as fuck with MC Ride in Chateau Marmont.



I will very possibly make a video review of the film, hopefully the real Dark Knight Deemzus Almighty will chime in.

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Also I'm gonna put this out there that I think it's pretty goddamn retarded that Batmanuel isn't even interested in watching this film. How the fuck have you not watched Tenet man? Come on. You're literally The Batmanuel. Seriously dude wtf.

[Kirkwood Chocolate]

HOLY FUCK

IM CHASING AROUND DEEMS IN THE VOLKSMOBILE TRYING TO FIND PARKING

NEVER TRUST A FUCKING TRINI

[Kirkwood Chocolate]

The Batman is masterful. Robert Pattinson is Bruce Wayne at his worst learning to become better. Zoe Kravitz, Paul Dano, Jeffrey Wright and Colin Farrell are all phenomenal. Matt Reeves is one of the greatest directors of our time. 9.5/10.

Sadly Kadeem ended up missing 40 minutes of the movie and I missed the opening scene because of this fucking guy. I gave him some weed edibles and he got FUCKED up. He was already kind of drunk. I literally Bruce Wayne'd into the movie theater running my Toyota Camry like it was the goddamn Batmobile, scoped out parking and parked immediately. Meanwhile I come out... and Deemzus is circling the fucking lot. I used the genes given to me by my mother who was the fastest high school sprinter in Guyana in the 70s. I felt like I was really Batman chasing Kadeem's car around trying to help him scout parking space. I was trying to direct him to the area where I parked that had space, but this stoned motherfucker turned right as I was yelling "DEEMZ TURN LEFT". Some other guy swooped in and took the spot. I shit you not, Deemz was circling the fucking parking lot for 20 minutes. I was just burning a spliff as I was chasing his car. I eventually gave up, realized he wasn't going to make it in time. I booked it into the IMAX theater fast as I could, missed the "I'm Vengeance" scene which sucks but the rest of the movie I saw. Kadeem was high as fuck and had pasties and waited for another 10 minutes in line for a drink. This nigga cannot fucking handle edibles man. So Kadeem came in about 40 minutes late and sat down and we finally watched it together. Afterwards he was too tired and fucked up to make a video review, but he did love the movie too.

Interesting story, apparently Deemz father who passed away two years ago was an enormous fan of Matt Reeve's Planet of the Apes films. I told Deemzus he needed to watch those films, the fact that his father loved them will make an already emotionally impactful film even more resonant. Matt Reeves is incredible at creating character driven blockbuster dramas, The Batman is an absolute triumph and the best outing for the Dark Knight since the Dark Knight trilogy.

[Kirkwood Chocolate]

The Official Theme of Literally Everyone Walking into Work on Monday, March 7th, 2022.



O N E
O F
U S



And hey, before you think I'm just joking about RPatz being a 4channer, just remember this guy is literally friends with Zach Hill and MC Ride (who actually viral marketed Death Grips through 4chan) and also played guitar on the song "Birds"

[Kirkwood Chocolate]

YEEZY STAMP OF APPROVAL CONFIRMED

[Kirkwood Chocolate]

[Kirkwood Chocolate]

ROBERT

"THE WALKING SHITPOST"

PATTINSON





He keeps saying the stupidest shit imaginable to the press, and they just keep taking him seriously for some reason. The hero we need, but not the hero we deserve.

[Kirkwood Chocolate]

woah... two whole weeks?

[Kirkwood Chocolate]

DEEMZUS IS LITERALLY DRIVING TO MY HOUSE RIGHT NOW



IT'S UP NIGGERS

[Kirkwood Chocolate]

I guess Selina Kyle was right. The Bat and the Cat does have a nice ring to it.